


A lot.

by bambisqueaks



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Asexual, M/M, Minor Character Death, ZaDr, bottomdib, twcorona, twcoronavirus, twcovid-19
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:06:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27751267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bambisqueaks/pseuds/bambisqueaks
Summary: Another silly little zadr fic.I'll update the tags accordingly because I haven't written everything yet, so be sure to watch out for those.Jhonen Vasquez owns these characters from Invader Zim, not me
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 42





	1. Poor Old Kid.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't write this to downplay corona or make fun of it, covid is to be taken seriously I'm just using it as an advantage for the "omg they were roommates" trope.

What hadn't surprised Dib was Zim freaking out about the Coronavirus.

What had surprised him however was the lizard knocking frantically on his window at 1 in the morning.

Not that Dib was asleep in the first place, he was busy writing up a report about mermaids (sirens?) he had investigated earlier in the week at the local lake.

Zim's claws thrum against the window impatiently, he raises his fist in a warning before Dib quickly opens it, "What do you want?"

His question isn't answered, not even after Zim claws his way into the investigators bedroom.

"What do you want." He repeats, sterner this time.

Zim gives him a crazed look, as if he had just seen a ghost and he was deciding whether or not to tell Dib.

Dib crosses his arms, mind halfway made up to push the alien out the window when Zim finally opens his mouth, "Old Kid deceased from the covid-19."

This doesn't particularly surprise Dib, Old Kid had contracted it early and with his disease he was especially vulnerable, "Oh, were you close?"

Zim shakes his head matter of factly, "Nope."

Dib raises an eyebrow, looking Zim up and down. Despite the darkness (besides Dib's computer screen) he can tell the alien is wearing his disguise.

Without warning Zim gets close to Dib's face, causing him to flinch, the alien almost screaming, "When did you last have contact with the Old Kid?!"

Dib quickly shushes him and listens for a moment for his father's heavy footsteps, then answers Zim in a low voice, "Probably a month or two ago, at Zita's party. Why?"

At this information Zim starts picking through the monstrosity of a mess that is Dib's floor, clearly looking for something. Dib stares at him in confusion, "Wh-.. what are you doing...?"

Zim straightens up, holding up pants and a shirt, "When was the last time you washed these?"

"What?" Truth be told Dib didn't exactly remember when he last washed them, like many of the clothes in his room.

Zim shakes the outfit, "When?! These were the exact clothes you wore to the human pig gathering, WHEN DID YOU WASH THEM?!"

Okay, that's weird, did Zim memorize every outfit Dib wore? Maybe it's just a pak thing.

Dib hesitates for a moment, "Uhhhh probably li-"

Zim interrupts him, "WHEN?!"

Dib shoots him a glare, Zim interrupting him in the middle of answering questions is a common occurrence, but it's far too late at night to have patience for his antics, "Probably like a week ago or someth-"

"LIES!!" Zim grimaces, as if smelling something really bad (Dib's room was not that bad in his opinion), "Zim can tell from your awful earth-stink that this hasn't been washed in a LONG TIME."

Dib huffs angrily, "Well why did you even ask if you already knew?"

"Do not question the motives of the amazing ZIM." Zim grabs a laundry basket (huh, Dib forgot he even had one) and throws the clothes in, picking out certain other clothes as well for whatever reason and tossing them in the container.

Dib grabs some of the clothes back out of the basket, "I am not going to let you wash my clothes, you'll probably bug them, or switch them out for some weird Irken copies that squeeze me to death."

Zim yanks the clothes back with unexpected force, stuffing them back in the already filled basket, "While that would be an ingenious plan, no, Zim is not letting the "Corona-time" kill my Dib-stink, that is my job, and my job only."

Dib deadpans, "If my clothes were infected with corona I think I would have caught it by now."

"My point precisely!" Zim is already carrying the basket out of the window with a pak tool, climbing out as well.

"But-" Dib doesn't get a chance to say anything else before Zim disappears, scuttling off into the darkness on his pak legs. "Stupid bug." He mutters to himself, shutting the window and locking it.

Someone clears their throat behind him and he whips around, "What the- oh. Hi Dad." Dib tries to remain nonchalant, wondering in the back of his mind how long his father had been standing there.

Professor Membrane takes up almost the entire area of the doorway, standing almost menacingly, "Why are you still awake?"

Dib gestures to the window defensively, "Zim broke in, I was about to go to bed, but then he just came in through the window."

Membrane Crosses his arms disappointedly, "Disobeying social distance measures isn't very scientific, Dib"

"He's the one who broke in! Why are you still awake, anyway?" Dib huffs accusingly.

"I just got back from work."

"Well, that's a first." The boy mutters.

"I didn't come here to be berated, Dib. Go to bed. And make sure your foreign friend doesn't come back until quarantine ends." The professor walks out, closing the door a little harshly behind him.

"I dIdN't CoMe HeRe To bE bErAtEd- yeah yeah whatever." Dib mocks under his breath once he's sure his dad is out of earshot.

He takes a look out the window, gaze lingering in the direction that Zim's house is in. Wondering if the alien would show up at his window again, later in the night.

The investigator shakes his head to clear it, turns off his computer and flops onto his bed.

If the bug is gonna come back, he might as well make it more difficult for him to get assistance with the window. He falls asleep quickly with this thought in mind.


	2. Why is my room clean.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter mainly, Dib wakes up and finds out some very bad news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lot's of mentions of Coronavirus, just making sure y'all know.

Dib wakes up in the morning to an unusual smell in his room; citrus and bleach, a strange combo, but the kind of smell that makes you think of days full of cleaning and getting work done. Not that Dib himself ever had any of those days, the robots Membrane built into the house took care of most of the cleaning, especially after the mess and mold that was everywhere in Dib’s middle school years. 

They never clean Dib’s room though, Membrane is intrusive, but at least he somewhat respects Dib’s privacy.

Anyway, back to the smell, Dib sits up and looks around at… a spotless room. Everything is glimmering clean, even his sheets were clean…? This all is the obvious doing of Zim, not surprising, since the alien is a notorious germaphobe.

Dib gets up and examines the room more closely, checking for bugs or cameras or anything stolen. After a few minutes of searching he finally comes upon his paranormal research, stacked neatly on his desk. Uh oh.

The investigator flips through his findings, most importantly on Zim, and finds a few of his clearest pictures missing. That bastard, the lengths Dib had gone to get those- Whatever. It doesn’t matter, more investigating needs to be done in matters of the house. 

He wanders the hallways, peeking into other rooms, it appears as though his room is the only one to receive the kind of treatment Dib’s had. On the other hand, no part of the house had been as bad as his own, except maybe the trash can. 

He arrives at the kitchen, where he discovers Gaz and Membrane sitting at the table, and Zim. Dib doesn’t even know where the fourth chair at the table came from, there were always three chairs, one of them was hardly used anyway. But that’s besides the point, right now Dib is angry, he turns to Zim, “What. Did. You. Do. To my room?! And my evidence?!”

Zim sneaks a sly smile in Dib’s direction without alerting the others, “Zim has no idea what the Dib-filth is talking about. Anyway, I was only doing my best friend a favor. I thought it would be a nice gesture, since I’ll be staying here a while.”

Dib blinks, processing, “What do you mean by ‘staying here’?” 

Professor Membrane cuts in, “Ah, yes, Zim has made me aware of his situation at home, it being burned down and all, terrible news. So I suggested that he stays with us until everything with this virus ‘blows over’, as the kids say.”

The boy shoots a look at the alien. Zim is currently sticking his tongue out at Dib behind the professor’s back. Dib returns his attention to Membrane, “Dad, you can't trust what he says, he’s an alien!”

Membrane gives Dib a disappointed frown, “Calling him names in his time of need is not very scientific, Dib. He’s already been through enough.”

Dib rolls his eyes, “Oh so now you understand trauma, great timing, Dad.”

Gaz peeks an eye open, taking her attention away from her game (a rare sight), and speaks before either Dib or Membrane can say anything else, “Dib shouldn’t you be happy? Now you get to live with your boyfriend, free of any charge or consequences.”

Dib and Zim both shout “Boyfriend?!” in incredulous unison, earning a smirk from Gaz before she averts her gaze back to the small screen in her hands. 

“Dib,,, is your foreign friend your boyfriend?” Dib’s father says in genuine confusion.

“Ew! What? No, why would I ever- just no. Ew.” Dib gags.

“Me as well, ew, just gross.. I hate huma-Americans.” Zim muses.

Professor Membrane ‘hmmm’s suspiciously, “Just to be safe, Zim can stay in the guest room until we figure out something more permanent.

Zim looks offended, “You dare not believe me? ME?! Zim?! Trust me, if I wanted Dib as mine I’d brag about it to the entire universe. Everyone would know. But I don’t. Because he is ugly and stinky, and he has a big head.”

Ouch, that stings a little. Dib doesn’t know why, since he hates Zim more than anyone. He stays quiet anyway, wanting to return to his room more than anything.

Membrane is unamused by Zim’s ravings, “You’re sleeping in the guest bedroom.”

Zim huffs, “Fine.”

Why was Zim even arguing in the first place? It’s not like-

No. No. Moving on. Dib is disgusted by that thought, for sure. Even if his face gets a little red at the idea.

He breaks out of thought and finds Zim staring at him a little more intensely than usual, Dib clears his throat, “What.”

Zim tilts his head, Dib can almost see his antennae twitching under the wig from irritation, “Nothing, you just stink.”

Dib rolls his eyes, “Yeah okay, I’m going back to my room before you ruin my life any further.” He turns on his heel and walks away, back up the stairs.


End file.
